SoIts been quiet some time since I have blogged, not meaning that I have not been writing at all! I am on chapter four of 'Views from the window seat' so my hand has been busy with writing, but the blogging has had some distance and this morning I was feeling motivated to put some words to blog!
Those of you that follow my shenanigans have known the ups and the downs, the joys and the sorrows of the journey we have embarked on over the years. It has not been easy, nor fun alot of the time, but the Divine intervention and Grace that has been loosed over my life has been simply and so obviously out of my control to not mention.
Years of not embracing my worth and value, much less my 'creative self' and finally arriving at a place of understanding and knowing...it changes you, it changes how you function, how you receive, how you forgive, love others, and yourself. The last few years have been years of turmoil, loss and frustration mixed with incredible 'divine' blessings. This summer has been no different.
I had resolved in my heart that we would be doing another winter at the house we had been fortunate to find upon our leaving the ranch prior in dire circumstances, a long story I won't bore you with in this blog. But some of you know we had to relocate the two mustang girls, unsure if we would be able to regain them to the rest of our equine family, along with living in a house that i will call 'sterile' in the sense that it had NO personality or familiar 'feeling' of being a home to it at all. Though it was a safe harbor for us for the two years we were there. I was dreading another winter as it was near impossible to keep the house warm, we had not integrated with the neighbors at all, and I felt as if I were in seclusion during the time we were there, not to mention getting in and out during the snow season, lol! Needless to say, I have found some thankfulness in that we had a secure dwelling over our heads, but not much more than that. Our horses were confined looking over the fence for two years wondering why they couldn't eat the grass that was well up to their bellies most of the year. So, though we had a roof, it never felt like 'home'. I spent two years daily searching for a better place with no results. So as I packed my gear to head to Santa Fe for my 4th year of 'Thundering Hooves' I had in my heart resolved to the fact that we would be there for yet another season.
The event in Santa Fe was incredible as always, drawing curious crowds hungry to learn more about the horse, and the issues that surround them, wild and domestic. A bit of a slower crowd surely due to the economics of our country but enthusiastic nonetheless. I packed my gear, hugged the loved ones that have become like family over the years as we have teamed up to do what we do on behalf of the horses across the country and made my way home.
The horses have been our guide in many ways over the years. They have healed our hearts, bound up our wounds, given us a place to rest our hearts when we have felt anxious, and watched over us as we have them for years. Their presence in our lives has become one of great understanding and thankfulness. So, I shouldn't be surprised when spending myself on them, that they return the favor. Its a two fold process that I have learned to accept when it unfolds.
I woke first thing Monday morning and sat at the computer as I do most mornings and thought 'one more time, one more time I will try to see if there is something for us'...as I typed in the words, a property came up...we had spent the last few months driving and scouting out Taos and Angel Fire areas for a possible move, but again nothing available had us in lock down. But this morning, the 'unpredictable' happened, little be-known to me what was about to unfold that day.
By that afternoon we had met with the landowner and a key was in hand to begin the process of relocation. I don't recall getting too excited about it as my heart was so weary from the last few years of events with ranches that it was hard to get to thrilled over much. But....somewhere deep inside there was a hope that was still warm with its embers keeping the heart warm and safe within.
And so here we are, two months later, after an incredible couple of months of hard work, packing, moving, unpacking, more hard work...but...the unpredictable goodness of our Creator is one that you can never quite put your finger on, its best to just learn to receive every good and perfect gift. Something it has taken me years to learn, and sometimes I find I still haven't quite got it, but I am being ever stretched to remain hopeful despite all things, and to believe above all things that I am so loved, and there is One who takes great care over my soul to bring incredible delight regardless of the hardships that I am in the midst of. My hope is that You too, would recognize, feel and receive the same for your life.
Our equine family is together again, the charm of this 150 year old northwest log/adobe ranch house sprawling on land with incredible views, I can say we are 'home'...for how long, who knows. But for now, this has been the closest I have felt to being 'home' in a long time. We have renovated, cleaned, painted and gotten things up to par to some degree with a freedom to make it feel like a 'home'. Yes, we know winters will be crazy here, but after living in an RV for a year on 5000 acres in the Chama area, to living where we just moved from...we think we can handle it just fine...so stay tuned and you can chuckle along with us as we continue this crazy journey. So this story is far from over, I will be sharing more as we move forward...there is much I could say about this last move...but its for another time...until then, keep your eyes peeled for the unpredictable blessings that await for You!