Its been a year of creativity diffused with busyness, distraction, drama and clutter. I find it amazing how one can find such clarity, vision and focus only to be completly thrown off the tracks by taking ones eyes off the goals set. I have been so guilty of this time and time again. Constantly having to stop and climb back on the tracks, reving up the engines to gain speed once again to move forward. And its then when I feel the most liberated, the most true to self, the most at peace, the most fulfilled in 'who' I am inside and out.
And so here I am, once again, coming alive, breathing deep into the lungs of creativity, and breathing out what I am taking in. Creative Release. I find the harder I try to set goals of being true to self ... the more I find I am challenged in its proving grounds. In this, I get highly frustrated with myself...and more forgiving as I forge ahead landing once again on the tracks pressing full speed ahead, making the promise once again to stay between guides to keep me focused and on track.
Can any of you relate to this? The older I get, the more determined I become to be TRUE to self. Part of this is a process of discovery, part is risk, part is discipline. Each being sharpened with every 'wreck' that causes the guide of the wheels that turn to come off the track. It is not an easy path, the path of being TRUE to self, but it is this path, that causes us to come ALIVE, because it resonates with everything inside of us. Like a sharp pin that pricks everyplace that has become numb from slumbering as we seek the safe way of riskless living.
So here I go again... landing on the track, resetting the gages, loading the firewood to fuel the engines, looking far down the horizon trying to gage the speed at which to engage to further the journey to becoming all I am purposed and designed to be. Unable to see beyond the bends in the track and the terrain, but trusting that thing inside of the gut...normally called the HEART, and learning to listen and be everwatchful to the elements and beings in our midst. Using the wild mustangs as a collaborative voice of confirmation as they never lie, and are always true to self, making a great example of what I am reaching for, like them, true to self, and alive to self, wild and free.
This journey with the 'wild' mustang is one that I have come to appreciate more and more, they represent what we are all striving for. The beauty of 'being'. The beauty of learning to 'trust'. The essence of 'wild'. Living in the moment, accepting it for what it is, and moving forward. Everyday is a new beginning, a new challenge, a new lesson to learn, all while recognizing and embracing the beauty around us and in us, all while being true to who they are...wild.
So, this is where I am, where I have 'arrived' once again. Forgiving self once again for succumbing to the fears, fears of failure, fears of the succumbing to those voices that would say you can't be true to self, you can't be wild, it isn't natural, mature or socially acceptable. But that small still voice inside...it rises...once again...